Raid des Alpes - part 1

Imagine smashing your head against a wall for three hours. Imagine, doing this at altitude. Imagine that you have done this for several days prior.

This is alpine riding.

Well at least the uphill bits at times. I am just back from the epic (an overused word I know but not in this case) bike ride from Thonon Les Bains near Geneva, to Antibes on the Mediterranean coast. If the 500 miles in 6 days was not enough, try sticking in the equivalent of riding from sea level to the top of Ben Nevis 18 times. The aim of the "Raid" is to successfully get to Nice in 6 days via 8 set points (where you receive a stamp to prove you have made it). The cols (around 30 of them) are like a who's who of cycling folklore (a where's where really). The assemblage includes the Iseran, Telegraphe, de la Ramaz, Galibier and Bonette to name a few.

The highest road pass in Europe (according to the French).

Being a big lad, i.e. not a stunt double for the malnutrioned climbers of the Tour, some of these "icons" proved to be a test of sheer will power rather than cycling finesse. I'm not exactly a slouch on a bike but two to three hours of climbing at anywhere "as quick" as 4mph is pretty gruelling. The steepest gradients were around 1 in 5 (part of the Roseland and the top of the Bonette, the latter being the French's claim for the highest road pass in Europe). The average gradient for some was around 5-7%. My oppo, Nigel Wilson, pulled the following together from ClimbByBike. See for yourself how horrendous some of the profiles are. Data in metres.

Col	Altitude	Length	Climbing	Gradient	Difficulty Index
Colle delle Finestre	2178	18.6	1694	9.1%	249
Col de la Bonette	2715	24	1589	6.6%	166
Col du Galibier	2645	18.2	1244	6.8%	148
Col du Pre	1703	12.2	963	7.9%	145
Col de la Couillole	1678	16	1168	7.3%	145
Col du Telegraphe	1566	12	848	7.1%	116
Col de l’Iseran	2770	48	1955	4.1%	114
Col d’Izoard	2360	19	1105	5.8%	112
Col de Vars	2108	19.4	1111	5.7%	108
Col du Mont Cenis	2083	9.8	682	6.9%	107

The climb of the Iseran (from Val d'Isere) introduced a new canon of swearing to the Alpine landscape. It also involved a game of "Guess the CB Call sign for this member of the Nomads" and a spontaneous chorus of "Come on and join our Convoy" by Kris Kristofferson. And no, James Gomm and I will never divulge the names we came up with.

What goes on torture, stays on torture.

Going up some of these "hills" requires balls. Big balls. I think most, if not all of the group I was with, regardless of ability would admit to going to some pretty deep depths mentally at some point, For me the ascent of the Bonette (one of the most beautiful passes in Europe) was like watching paint dry. Sacre Bleu! I hear. Well I was in survival mode at that point. The less glamorous roads of the Couillole and St Raphael saw me (relatively speaking) fly up. There was little rhyme or reason to this other than riding conservatively when it mattered and also not having a heavy lunch. The omelette at Pras de Lys on day 1, when combined with 30 degree heat nearly did me in.

So, Simon's top tip for climbing in the alps is: do it at your own pace. If you don't believe me, simply ask Mark Young (HNCC) how he improved over the week and also who his "coach" was on the Col du Pre. Where's my beer Mark?