Since my last broadcast, I have done some races, got ill (nothing life or death but a touch more than "man flu"), got better. Did some more races.
This meant that not only did I look like a reject from Stan Lee's sketch book,, e.g .Shit Time Trial Hero Man, it also meant I could not take to the start line due to CTT's regulations on attire, e.g. "Competitors must be clothed from the neck to at least mid-thigh". All told, I looked like a deviant and I would have stopped me racing too.
To make matters worse, I drew the attention of both James Gomm and Mike Webb who both attempted to "yank my zip". Bearing in mind they(Gomm and Webb) were crouched at midriff height "tugging hard to release my fastener" this could not have looked good.
To amuse the reader, I shall regale you with yesterday's endeavours. I entered the Lampard RC F15/10 on the Marston Moretaine course. I have been training well, the numbers were good on the power and pulse and although it was a bit of a hard day to call weather wise, the runes looked promising.
And then it happened.The zip on my skinsuit ripped, just south of my navel.
This meant that not only did I look like a reject from Stan Lee's sketch book,, e.g .Shit Time Trial Hero Man, it also meant I could not take to the start line due to CTT's regulations on attire, e.g. "Competitors must be clothed from the neck to at least mid-thigh". All told, I looked like a deviant and I would have stopped me racing too.
To make matters worse, I drew the attention of both James Gomm and Mike Webb who both attempted to "yank my zip". Bearing in mind they(Gomm and Webb) were crouched at midriff height "tugging hard to release my fastener" this could not have looked good.
If Bedfordshire Police had patrolled the underpass where we had parked (yes I know, it gets worse doesn't it), I dare say Stan Collymore and I would be in the same support group now working out why our lives were in respective tatters.
With no solution in sight, I took to wearing my winter jersey over the top of the offending garment. This at least hid my rippling six pack from the attendant masses and also allowed me to do the actual race. The net effect of wearing the equivalent of parachute was not formally quantified but I am suggesting it was at least 1.5 seconds per mile.
As Morrissey once said, "I can laugh about it now but at the time it was terrible" I'll be packing two skinsuits next time.
Stay tuned for more fashion advice.
